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Breathing down my neck
The #WolffWay
W- Work ethic
O- Off time
L- Lead with integrity
F- Find your passion
F- Find a way
Sometimes we feel like people are breathing down our necks. It feels like our boss, coach, or manager are coming right at us. Maybe they are.
Maybe the message is not delivered in the most respectful way. This happens.
I was recently paying for items at a local store and overheard a conversation between two employees. One employee said to the other "I feel like the manager is breathing down my neck". The employee mentioned a second person "breathing down her neck". The employee went on to say "if I give respect, I expect it back".
Let's talk about the "breathing down someone's neck" first.
Sometimes the feedback (often unwanted!) we receive hits home and we just can't get it out of our heads. I know I've been there. Maybe you have too....
This interaction made me think of lessons I have learned from past experience. I have learned that, for the most part, there are two primary reasons a leader is "coming at you".
- You are doing something wrong and need to be corrected
- The leader sees something in you and knows you can deliver more to the organization
Whatever the reason, it is important that we listen to the message and reflect on the feedback we receive. It is important that we learn from it.
This feedback should activate our work ethic to step up our game to make the necessary corrections. Have a positive mindset. If you are not exactly sure what the expectations are, politely and respectfully request what the expectations are for you as it pertains to your job or your role.
Sometimes the feedback we receive has a great message. Sometimes it is not delivered in the most respectful way.
"If I give respect, I expect it back"
In my experience, when this theory is applied it produces positive results for the most part.
But, to be clear, this is not always the case.
There are a number of factors which may contribute to you giving but not receiving respect. The person not giving you respect may be having a bad day. They may have previous experiences which have forged certain viewpoints that has nothing to do with you. It can be tough to ascertain why you are the recipient of this behavior.
The important takeaway is to recognize that you cannot control how others feel or act. In the moment it can be difficult to manage our immediate emotions and reactions. I have been there. I make mistakes every day.
You can control how YOU handle it moving forward. I keep coming back to a central question when presented this scenario.
How do I want to direct my energy?
Sure, I can fight the disrespect fight but what are the positive and negative consequences? Does expending my energy to this situation move the needle forward for getting the job done whatever it may be? Does fighting this fight help me and the organization?
I do my very best to control the things I can control. I make every effort to direct my energy to people, situations, and missions which drive the cause forward in a positive manner.
No matter how the message is delivered when someone is breathing down your neck, control what you can control by activating your work ethic to reflect and improve. Direct your energy to forces which positively impact the goals you have set for yourself and the organization.
You got this.
