Welcome to the Wolff Learning Blog!

The #WolffWay

W- Work ethic

O- Off time

L- Lead/live with integrity

F- Find your passion

F- Find a way

Who Am I?

This question has existed since the beginning of time, whether consciously or subconsciously.

During my undergraduate coursework, I learned about a psychoanalyst named Erik Erikson, who developed a theory of identity development. I won’t delve too deeply into the theory, but I’ll discuss real-world scenarios related to it. I’m not smart enough to dig deep into the theory! In summary, the question “Who am I?” permeates our development at different stages of our lives.

The early years of my educational career were spent teaching and coaching students at the 7-12 grade levels, mostly high school-aged. My life changed when I became an assistant principal at the intermediate (grades 6-8) level. I don’t remember who made this statement to me at the time, but it stuck in my head:

“In intermediate school, kids are trying to figure out who they are; in high school, they have a pretty good idea of which group they belong to.”

These years can be extremely challenging for young people to navigate. If you have a child or work at that grade level, you know exactly what I’m talking about. I know I struggled during this time. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen earlier in life, but it often becomes more evident at this stage. Are they an athlete? Are they artistic? Are they into plays? Do they do well in school? Are they good at performing tasks with their hands? Do they not have a group and find "trouble" to be their identity? Do they become the party kid?

Through experimentation and likely plenty of self-reflection, they often find their group by high school. They may play sports, begin to fully explore their artistic talents, join the play, earn membership in the honor society, attend a technical co-op, or join a group not known for making good decisions. Consciously or subconsciously, they determine who they are at that point in time.

It doesn’t stop there. After high school, many young people are still trying to find their way. They may go in a different direction with newfound freedom. This could result in a few years of travel or working various jobs. Some stay the course and begin a career in their desired field.

Let’s say they stay the course and begin a career. This might be working in the service industry, as a youth events coordinator, a plumber, a police officer, a musician, or, yes, even (gasp!) as a teacher, paraprofessional, social worker, or mental health professional. For the record, careers in helping others are a pretty good way to feed your intrinsic needs for making a difference. Consider joining the teaching ranks, no matter what stage of life you’re in. Ok, I’m done with that little plug!

Annnnd, back to the topic... you may have a career and then become "mom" or "dad." You find yourself running children to their sporting events, plays, gigs, etc. In this case, your role within your career may change slightly, but you remain in your chosen profession. For years, you follow a similar routine. To some degree, it becomes who you are. The question “Who am I?” is pushed aside for the time being, perhaps because you don’t have time to think about it. It’s about survival!

And then… you find yourself at a crossroads. This may be due to a life-changing event, the exhaustion of your talents in a field, or because retirement is on the horizon. What do you do then? Who do you become? What is your identity? It can be just as challenging for adults to navigate these waters.

How many times have we seen professional athletes struggle with retirement in their mid-20s? How many people hold on a little too long to their careers due to the fear of not having answers to these questions?

This struggle is real. It doesn’t discriminate. It applies to all of us, in some capacity, at different stages of our lives.

You’re tired of being a server in a restaurant within the service industry.
You don’t have the same desire to help kids as a youth events coordinator.
You’re tired of getting calls on Christmas Day because someone’s heat isn’t working.
You’ve reached a position to retire as a police officer.
You’re not getting the same numbers at your gigs as a musician, artist, actor, etc.
You’ve reached retirement age as a teacher or paraprofessional.
Was there a life-changing event that turned your world upside down?

What do you do then? Do you ask questions like: How do I maintain some version of my identity? Is it possible to maintain my identity in a different organization or in a different capacity? What identity do I assume now? Who am I? In an age of social media, can we see the search for these answers play out in real time? Likely.

Who are you? Only you can decide. We all need an identity. We all feel the need to be part of a group. Choose your next path wisely, but know you are not alone.

Fall back on the Wolff Way as a guide:

W - Work ethic
O - Off time
L - Lead/live with integrity
F - Find your passion
F - Find a way



You’ve got this. Know that you are somebody. That’s for sure.